Such a deal??!! Fool me once, shame on me, fool me....

Le plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Yes, I have one…too!!

My cover has been blown and now everyone wants to use my top secret listening and transcribing device (I nicknamed it “Big Ear” and "Little Transcript)).

I’ve used this unique tool to propel my career as an “ace” GSE commentator and, now, it has been outed by those White House clowns advising President Trump, opening him to all sorts of political grief.

It's partly my BAD, I never should have permitted this POTUS to borrow the contraption when he was calling Ukraine, the Saudis, and Russia. I’ve been using mine for years to listen and never got caught “researching” politicians in the nation’s capital. I don’t employ it often, but often enough to maintain my GSE primacy chops!

Then, Huzzah! After two visits last month to the nation’s last remaining Radio Shack, they torqued mine up. What I have now allows me to capture what my subjects are thinking before they say or write it.

That’s why I appear so casually prescient when describing what any individual truly has on his/her mind before they utter it, especially the anti-GSE crowd.

For instance, this weekend Big Ear picked up some juicy morsels from what FHFA Director Mark Calabria’s was thinking before Treasury announced on Monday new mandatory capital deals with both Fannie and Freddie.

Anyway, here are some of MC’s weekend thoughts. 

Zippity doo-dah, zippity…I can’t wait for Monday and those letters go out binding them to yet unwritten to our "other conditions."

It’s all set, Mnuchin has stepped back on GSE issues and I stepped up. Zippity doo-dah. I need to practice what I’ll say to my fans and the others.

Let’s see? Here, here, get them while you can. They may be lightly scratched and dinged—yet we still will call them Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac--they still will be in the mortgage business, but I have a few changes in mind because of which they must signup before I let them apply their skills and talents to supporting America’s low, moderate, and middle income families eligible to qualify for reliable GSEs mortgage loans.

But, don’t ask me for details, as I need to add more scuffs and nicks to them while I can. Just wait until you leap at those first few GSE public offerings of entities, which won’t look just like today’s version—let alone the pre-2008 version. (Weren’t those spiraling down somewhere?)

Let’s face it, despite my breezy language to those naïfs on the Senate Banking Committee, who approved my nomination, I really have little liking nor respect for the GSEs. I know I begged to get a regulatory job with the Trump Admin—anything to get away from Pence-- and my big bank buddies insured me that any damage I can do to Fannie and Freddie will be appreciated (and rewarded) by those same GSE critics and opponents. I know Steve Mnuchin and the POTUS want the GSEs put back in the hands of private ownership (that’s you Mr. and Mrs. Investor). But, yak, gag, barf, whoever heard of a government agency with shareholders??

Yes, they are efficient and better run than the banks. Yes, they stunned everyone in DC, including me, when they paid back more than $310 Billion for Hank Paulson’s 2008 $190 Billion gift and then strapped and carried on their shoulders the nation’s entire conventional residential (non-FHA/VA) mortgage markets, single and multi-family.

But, B.F.D!

Unless I try now to cripple the GSEs, when given this opportunity, who will push them out of the government’s door and hobble them enough so that they can’t still help millions of mortgagors going forward, plus set their new investors up to make billions?? Best of all, with Mnuchin’s help, I’ll make sure Fannie’s and Freddie’s execs will have to comply with all of the “sand in the gears” bells and whistles Kudlow and I placed in the Treasury Report before anything real happens with ending “Conservatorship.” Plus we can snap the regulatory whip going forward to make sure they stay in line.

How can those schmucks stop me or say “no,” I’m their regulator and the Conservator!!

Thankfully, I anticipated this first “public step” to satisfy my longtime goals and helped load up the Treasury’s “Report to Congress” with just the right mix of major new internal costs and delay procedures to achieve my real objectives, had Treasury—with my humble assistance-- demand the GSEs sign up to cooperate on those steps, so nobody can say the Trump Administration blackmailed the GSEs. (I 'll love my new powers and  additional staff  I’ll get out of the deal, because there it is right in the Treasury Report. Screw you Fed, OCC, and FDIC!) How did my big bank buddies put it when I got this job, “Don’t be inconsistent? You need to keep trying to help your friends and destroy our enemies!

”Yep, this Boy Scout is large, in charge, and walking tall! That’s why I insist my FHFA team call me “Buford Pusser!” (Let them look him up!)

Soon I can shrink Fannie’s and Freddie’s size, impact, and foodprint, with nobody in Congress saying “boo,” because they don’t really care or understand the myriad mortgage or capital issues and players running the game today. Some will gripe about “low-income goals,” but Hell the banks don’t want that business anyway so I can give in and make them 50% of the GSEs total annual business, which they were back in the 90’s.

Working on a package of bank-like capital requirements, too, despite the fact I know F&F don’t look or operate as banks will drive up the GSE cost of doing business. And, I can easily hide behind “safety and soundness” concerns, when I explain, With the GSEs, since so many in this town have no idea about the role of capital, one never can have too much capital. (It’s not my job to worry about consumer mortgage costs which obviously will go up.)

And—to my great joy-- it will cost F&F even more when we tell the world the net $120 Billion or so the GSEs have paid back since 2013, on top of the original $190 Billion, just isn’t enough to repay the nation for its GSE support since 2008 and they have to pay us an “exit fee.” Hot damn, that will cause a few sphincters to tighten up!

I hope those Lefties don’t give me any sass about trying to offset those costs by trying to monetize the reverse value the GSEs represented for their liquidity role post-2008 which produced huge affordable mortgage volumes without generating any losses (which—duh-- was how the GSEs paid back all of that money to the taxpayers).

But, as I believe, there will be nobody making that GSE case nor any other when we force them to “negotiate.” There won’t be any give-and-take in those meetings, just us giving them orders and Fannie and Freddie taking them.

(Don't you love the way my targets think in highlights and punctuation marks! WRM)

Maloni, 10-2-2019